Cornelius Funkalot IV
3498 Thunderfist Sq. • ShlinkedIn.com
Summary
Medium-motivated Intern with a bad work ethic and 6 minutes of experience. #LikeForLike
Work Experience
Meta
Software “Developer” ;)
• Was in charge of impromptu lice checks
Ancient Roman Army (Hail Caesar)
DJ
• Boosted employee engagement by proposing to every employee
Enron
Salesperson
• Did a really sweet kickflip one time
Education
BS from Subway™ School of the Sandwich Arts
Major: Math
GPA: 1.1
Hobbies
inventing penicillin , massaging our brave veterans
References
a tiny dancer
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