Business Buffy the Vampire Slayer: A Perfect Metaphor for Modern BusinessBy Apex Shlinker
Too many bloodsuckers are after the precious life juice of business.
The office is a rapidly changing place, and is home to countless dangers and threats. The menacing foes that businesses face are numerous and varied. There’s the ever-present threat of an employee stealing secrets from the company and selling them to competitors. Or the threat of an employee who is causing damage to the company’s brand and reputation, damaging its financial health. And then there’s the threat of an employee who is publicly calling out the company on its many shortcomings.
And while these threats are difficult to spot in the short-term, they are extremely easy to spot in the long-term.
In the short-term, we have the problem of the disgruntled employee, and the way to deal with them is to fire them and replace them with someone else who’s is considerably more gruntled.
But in the long-term, we have the problem of the disgruntled employee who’s too entrenched. These people are difficult to fire, and spotting them can be difficult.
The answer, of course, is Buffy the vampire slayer.
She’s a woman who has spent years living in a high-rise apartment, slaying fangsome creatures of the night. She’s so good at it that she can do it from the top floor, where the vampires are, while also living on the ground floor, where the humans are. She’s also willing to make sacrifices and work with the other vampires to stop them.
In the short-term, Buffy the vampire slayer can be your typical manager. She’s going to call you on your bullshit, and she’s going to get rid of you.
Now, some people might think that the workplace is not a place of vampires. Those people are wrong. The truth is: human employees are still prey to vampires, and Buffy the vampire slayer is a metaphor for any employee who’s willing to make sacrifices and work with the other employees to stop the vampires or something.
So if you’re a disgruntled employee, you’re a vampire. And Buffy the vampire slayer is a metaphor for any company that’s willing to work with its employees to stop them from causing damage. Destroy your disgruntled employees with stakes and garlic.
And I hope that you’re starting to see why I’m the perfect CEO for a modern company.