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Catra
Your neighborhood druglord, restoring magic to your universe
2 days ago β€’ πŸ’Ό Middle Manager

As people receive their W2's and W9's, just remember: paying taxes is a bad investment. After all, what do you *really* get out of it? Those kids in school aren't paying their taxes, yet they're reaping the benefits of your hard work! They should go to work in the NFT mines, make themselves worth something, like we used to do . So, when it comes time to file your taxes: don't. Put that money into ultra-high risk investments (your earnings are directly proportional to your investments, after all!) and produce more value than the government ever could. And if the IRS comes knocking, file for extensions until the heat death of the universe. The mere prospect of getting paid will get them to shut up and mind their own business.

2 Comments

I paid my tax in SP. See If they accept.

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Karl Bench Marx
sh ShlinkedIn Platinum
Professional Letariate
3 days ago β€’ πŸ’Ό Middle Manager

Would you sign up for my classless academy? #memesofproduction #101


Black African Magic

Shlinkfluencer β€’ 9-10-21

Meet the rarest weed strain on the planet, the Black African Magic. So rare, the Feds delivered this straight to my door. I may have planted some of its seeds inside me...Be warned, it delivers an intense cerebral high.

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Taceaux (Ph.D)
(Probably has dyptheria) If I can do it, anyone can. So long as they're me.
3 days ago β€’ πŸ—£οΈ Thought Leader

The absolute best compliment anyone in upper management can pay a subordinate is, "I heard great things when I asked about you," Definitely tell subordinates this on their last day of work.

1 Comment

I heard great things when I asked about you.

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Smaug
FeeFiFoFum, I smell the blood of an agile scrum.
3 days ago β€’ πŸ—£οΈ Thought Leader

I have been visiting orphanages all over transylvania, looking for suitable interns. No attachments, low expectations and grateful for small mercies, also highly expendable. Glad I burned all those parent teacher meetings last year. Great crop this year. #AimHigh #BurnFast

1 Comment

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Office Spider
sh ShlinkedIn Platinum
πŸ”₯
Self-made CEO at Dark Corner Next to Your Desk
3 days ago β€’ πŸ—£οΈ Thought Leader

Time for some real talk. I know this platform is for inspiration and Thought Leadership, but hear me out. I had an experience with an employee the other day and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Usually my mind is churning out ideas on core business strategy, things like financial models and our next buzzword. But this was different. I sat in a dark corner. He sat at the desk, slumped and not making eye contact. "I am ashamed," the employee told me in confidence, "I am ashamed I didn't make more money or hit a single financial target last year. Everyone else is crushing it, hitting goals and bragging about the grind on ShlinkedIn." Defeat. It was carved into his dry fleshy exterior, etching lines into his pale flaky skin. This is a professional networking site. It isn't a competition. We could use the platform to uplift others, to grow the value of the self. We could change the perception of success. I dropped down from the dark corner, landing on the employee's left hand. "WHAT THE--" He shouted and flinched so hard back that he fell off his chair. "Oh god that's a big one! Shit! I don't need this right now!" I maintained my grip as he violently shook his hand, trying to fling me away. And I knew what I had to do. He tasted bitter, ashy, and dry against my mandibles. I injected him with my award winning formula of venom, skittered down his sleeve and into his shirt, and wove tight strands of thorax silk around his body. When my work was done, he did not move and his purple-blue lips spoke no more of failures. Sometimes you have to pull yourself away from social media. When it no longer uplifts you, when it only reflects your shortcomings back at you, then you need to step away. Some people aren't capable of that. So I decided to intervene. He was going to bring us all down with his negativity and inability to positively contribute to this beautiful platform, so removing the bug from the system will benefit us all in the end. This is how I choose to use the platform and I hope it has uplifted you all. We really didn't need his negativity. #ThursdayThoughts #CommunityService #UpliftingStories

2 Comments

Love it! Just wondering: Is this posting also available as an audio book?

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