Beanie “Funnel Enhancer” Thabeatles
6 Capitalism Pl. • ShlinkedIn.com
Summary
Executive Problem Solver with a 2.7 rating on uber and 11 decades of experience. #Vaccines #DontTrustThem
Work Experience
Exclesior Tech & Soup
Head Chef
• What am I doing with my life? What is this?
Smith-Takametsu Co.
A Mouse in A Chef’s Hat
• In charge of dicing cheeses for salads
Telecomm Firm
BizDev Bro
• Client-facing role in which I interfaced with clients in my role.
Education
BS from Facebook Group University
Major: Communications
GPA: 3.4
Hobbies
alphabetizing our brave veterans, teaching amputees about diversity
References
a 35 year old suburban mom consumed by a white wine rage
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