Lunk Johnson
6877 Businessman Pl. • ShlinkedIn.com
Summary
Crotchety Hustler with a rash that doctors have described as both ‘persistent’ and ‘very offputting’ and 1 minutes of experience. #ThoughtLeadership #BusinessHacks #ConsensualChoking
Work Experience
Satan’s Personal Assistant
Richard Branson’s Cousin Dave
• Optimized SEO for top 10 business tips near you
In.Optimize
COO
• Organized logistics for the supply chain or something
Jamba Juice
Big Cheese
• Analyzed portfolios using my portfolio analysis skillset
Education
BS from The Sorbonne
Major: Words and things
GPA: 1.1
Hobbies
admiring my library of classic literature, teaching Jeff Bezos how to read
References
a mysterious nomad
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