Office Cat

99 Middelmanajament Sq. • 

Flustered Problem Solver with dark secrets and 14 seconds of experience. #5G #Unsafe #KillsBirds

Work Experience


Chief Culinary Officer

• Bedazzled our workflows

Money Launderi—uh, I mean, Coin-Op Arcade.

Analyst, Jr.

• Put out metaphorical fires

Landscaping Company

Account Executive

• Put out literal fires.


BS from I Learn From The Stars

Major: Math

GPA: 1.9


doing “private” stuff, getting on my hands and knees and donating a day trip on my January yacht to a poor


a struggling actor

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