A middle manager hasn't been hitting his targets. I could hear his disappointment from my dark corner next to his desk as he tried to explain his lack of commission on the phone to his wife. I intervened, secretly, and increased his conversion rate by 88.8% overnight! Yes, when he next entered the office 88.8% of his staff had been converted into empty flesh husks lying on his floor, drained of their internal liquids and covered in mandibles marks. He wasn't quite pleased, so I converted him too. Lesson: look out for yourself because no good deed gets appreciated. #fridayfeels #conversion #targets #teamplayer