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Thawt Leeder
Follow closely where your people are going, so that you can lead them
1 month ago β€’ πŸ’° CEO

My employees started talking about salary recently. To make things more fair, we decided to eliminate salary. Baseline performance is considered 50 hours, bonuses are paid for work done above baseline. When you add in ass-kiss multipliers and rat-out-poor-performers multipliers, most employees, er... contractors, can now potentially earn up to 101% of their old salary for only 90 hours of work a week. On a related note, I paid myself a $10m bonus for finding away to eliminate 95% of our health insurance costs.

7 Comments

I think this is great, but we can do even better. Let's stop using words of entitlement - like "salary". Perhaps "allowance" would be a better word?

Talking about salary is ILLEGAL and it violates the GENEVA CONVENTION unless it is a post like this that ELIMINATES compensation! Just FYI.

Booyah! That just happened! Nicely done bro

It’s all in the sauce!

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