James "the captain" Cook
I'm here to take your land on behalf of King George III


Sure, I might wear a wig and have been dead for over 250 years, but I've done more to generate value for the "Company" than any of your modern day so called "tech" moguls. Fly into space, puhleeze, try 2 months in the duldrums with a scurvy cabin boy and only a shrivelled lemon for equity! Please don't mention sandwiches or your blocked!

Started Shlinkin' Sep. 9, 2021
Career Progression: ☕ Unpaid Intern
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    Bain Capital Key Asset Runner Up

    Oct. 26, 2021


    Marketer of the Week

    Oct. 18, 2021

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Piracy Expert


Home Invader

Master of Minions

Colony of Pants

Has never come down with a case of scurvy

Great seaman (Wait. Which spelling do I want?)

High Tolerance for Pain